Spike's unfortunate mishap
by Heartless demon wolf
Summary: Spike has a bit of an accident with his most vital organ and Peewee along with the other pets are NOT helping his case, with nowhere to turn Spike realizes he has to do this painful deed….all by himself as he has to keep it from the pony he loves the most, Twilight Sparkle and fails in the process. One-Shot


Spike the dragon, or as he was known by Twilight Sparkle and her friends now, even Princess Celestia and Luna, Spike Sparkle sighed with a smile as he rested on Twilight's bed, or rather, their bed.

With a lit, half way done Diseased Stallion cigarette in his right claw he thought back to when the two of them had fallen for one another, how he had given his heart to his best friend, his caretaker and now during the two weeks they been together, his marefriend.

Many would argue that Twilight was more of a mother or older sister to him at the very least then a lover, but none had knew that Spike was being raised by Celestia herself as the filly Twilight, only six at the time was busy with her studies of being the Princess's personal student and that Spike was not given to Twilight until she was ten in which case the two had gotten to know and learn much about each other, but let other's think what they wish for their thoughts were their own.

The sixteen year old purple scaled with his light green underbelly and fins, as well as his ridged spines and emerald green eyes dragon chuckled thinking back to the day, under the Goddess of the Sun's gaze when he wrapped his right arm around the lavender colored unicorn, her dark blue mane with a single strip of pink in it as well as her tail looked at the teenage dragon with a smirk, her beautiful violent colored eyes looking at him with confusion.

"What are you doing, Spike? What's the occasion that we are in Ponyville Park with a picnic basket and only the two of us? I could have asked the others if they wanted to join you know." She chuckled, making the dragon's face scales heat up in embarrassment and even though he had heard her laugh all his life he felt this time it had made his heart melt, as if she was a Goddess laughing, not some normal, nerdy, mortal unicorn and that's what mattered to him the most.

"Well, you know, I um…I just wanted the two of us to enjoy a relaxing, peaceful afternoon together, you been so busy with your studies after we saved the Crystal Kingdom that we had not had a chance to just spend some time alone, you know?" he replied with an awkward laugh, his right claw rubbing his neck as he looked at the unicorn who smiled and nodded.

"Your right, but it was more like you and Cadence who saved the Crystal Ponies, Crystal Savior." She spoke with a smile that made his heart beat swiftly.

She was right though, and ever since defeating King Sombra he had been granted the title of Crystal Savior though it embarrassed him to no end but he merely shrugged it off and got out a piece of homemade apple pie made specially by Applejack with her marefriend Rainbow Dash's help and given it to him for Spike and Twilight's 'date'.

"It, it was nothing really you're the one to told me to do it. I was just a scared, twelve year old dragon at the time, nothing special, heh." He answered as Twilight shook her head but made no comment, the two enjoyed the rest of the afternoon, even having a glass of grape wine as they talked about memories of the past.

Fights with villains and even recent moments such as the day when Derpy Hooves and Pinkie Pie had gotten together, a week ago to the surprise but happiness of the town or even the first mare with mare wedding of Lyra Heartstrings and Bon-Bon who had been together for a month now.

Twilight giggled as Spike started using his claws to tell of how he had fought a giant Timberwolf with Applejack a year ago, even though Twilight herself was there and about his noble 'Dragon Code' the drake sipped on his glass pausing for breathe while the unicorn with a smile rested her head on Spike's lap, causing the dragon to blush again before he slowly begin to stroke her mane making her sigh in content.

"You know Spike, you been such a great help at the library and with your new job at the Spa as a massager I'll bet your be making more bits then me, not to mention maybe finding yourself a marefriend." She spoke making him sigh and smile a sad smile.

"Maybe…but I don't need nor want any random mare…I got you." He whispered into her right ear making her gasp as she lifted her head, her eyes filled with shock but with a small smile and a hint of being tipsy due to the wine, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against her number one assistant's as he closed his eyes and put a claw on her left cheek increasing their romantic moment.

"Yes…..you do have me." She whispered kissing his nose before doing the same with his right cheek as he laughed and stroked her back, being tall enough to reach it as she laid her head back on her lap while the dragon got out a carton of cigarettes from the basket and taking one out he breathed green fire on it, lighting the tip before inhaling and blowing the gray smoke out the right side of his mouth with a smile, Twilight ignored the smell as the two, new and happy couple embraced their moment under the watchful gaze of the Princess's sun.

Spike could not honestly believe it's only been two amazing, wonderful weeks since then as he inhaled his cigarette and with it being done, put it out on the ashtray near their bed, which he had been sleeping in with her for the past week, doing nothing sexual with his new love until they were both ready.

He knew that Twilight did not like him smoking in the house but going on a trip to memory lane he felt as though he needed the nicotine.

He sighed, this time in a bit of sexual pent up frustration, for he could not deny that while he loved taking their relationship slow and wanted to wait for the right time that he did not wish they could at least do a little teasing and Twilight being completely oblivious did not help matters, so like he had to do when he had his crush on Rarity when he was fourteen he had no other option but to resort to masturbating.

With a deep breath and hoping his pet phoenix Peewee and Twilight's pet owl Owlowiscious was not in the library this time as he opened the small drawer near the bed, getting out a small bottle of lubrication that he had kept away from such occasions as he opened the bottle and pour a small amount on his right palm then closed her eyes as he saw images of his marefriend on the couch.

Her tail raised showing her most private parts to his eyes as she brought her right front hoof behind her and begin to rub her vigna with her hoof, stroking it gently with a moan as it begin to trail up to her tail hole and she moaned as she inserted the tip of her hoof into it with a squeal making the dragon's penis become hard watching the mare's tail sway with her actions.

He sighed loudly as he begin to stroke his scaled member to the sound and visional image of Twilight cloping softly to herself, he gritted his fangs hearing her moan as he stroked his claw up but then paused as pain ran through his body.

Opening his eyes he was discouraged as to what the hay could keep him from releasing as he lifted the sheets that he had put over his lower body in case he was caught and tried to pull his claw from his hard penis but felt another flash of pain, narrowing his eyes he tried again only to get the same result only this time more pain.

"What the hay?" he questioned before reaching with his left claw and looking at the bottle of 'lube' that he had gotten from Rumble a while ago as he read the words on it carefully and slowly, then double checked with a look of absolute horror on his face.

"SUPER GLUE!" He screamed, no doubt being heard through the whole tree house of Golden Oak Library as his eyes went from the bottle to his claw stuck to his penis.

"BUCK!" he shouted in outrage and horror, he was going to kill Rumble after this was over, could it get any worse?

He had thought the words to soon as in flew through the open window was his pet phoenix, Peewee, the young adult with his orange and red feathers and wise, but very playful yellow eyes looked at the distressed dragon with a tilt of his head.

"What you whining about, Scales?" he asked curiously as Spike gave him an angered glare.

"None of your business, Feathers." He snapped back making the Phoenix chuckle with a roll of his eyes.

"Having a few problems with your prick, huh, reptile?" he chuckled as the dragon scoffed, but knowing that the bird was his best friend and had been for the past four years he only grunted in conferment.

"By the Gods, are you serious? What did you do, break it? Oh now THAT'S classic." Peewee laughed as he held his wings to his stomach and laughed hard, making Spike narrow his eyes and throw a pillow at him which he dodged with a simple flap of his wings into the air.

"No, I did not break it, Feather Brain it….well, it got stuck." He whispered making Peewee flap towards him, eying the reptile that still had the covers over his lower body before he looked at the bottle and reading the title he started to burst out laughing, so hard he fell to the ground with tears in his eyes.

"You bucking glued your claw to your dick!" he screamed as tears ran down his face and he laughed so hard he could not breathe for a few moments making the dragon growl in annoyance.

"Yes ok, it was an accident I swear, I did not-"

"I knew you would be stupid enough to use that bottle without reading but this, THIS is CLASSIC." Peewee interrupted as he wiped his tears with a wing and flapped into the air, heading towards the open window, still laughing.

"Where are you going?!" Spike screamed in rage.

"To tell the other pets about this, Angel's going to laugh his tail off once he hears this." The phoenix answered back and flew out the window without another word, leaving Spike in hysterics.

"PEEWEE COME BACK HERE, DAMN IT!" Spike screamed but he knew that the mystical bird was ignoring him and a part of him regretted even stealing the egg from the phoenixes next and allowing him to stay as he hatched, for the smart ass bird had caught onto his many antics and smart mouth habits, much to his dismay.

"Stupid bird" he muttered darkly under his breath as he knew he had to find some way to get out of this mess he had created for himself.

With another painful tug at his member with his claw, he hissed as pain ran though his body and he growled before slowly getting off the bed looking around the room for something that could detach him from his most vital body part.

With a grunt and knowing that he had plenty of time due to Twilight being at Rarity's shop and no doubt talking of the past with her, for Rarity and Fluttershy herself had been married for a year now Spike slowly walked to the bathroom, hoping to find something to relieve him of his…accident.

"Ok, ok, I can do this, I mean it's not like it can stay attached forever, right…..right?" he questioned to himself entering into the private part of the house before looking around the small confinement, finding nothing but small mirror, sink, toilet, and shower.

Turning around to find something else his eyes shifted back to the shower as he sighed before his bladder informed him that he had to urinate and with a sigh he went to the toilet and did his business before stepping into the shower, slapping the lid back down with his tail for Twilight, not wanting for her to fall in…again.

With an annoyed grunt, he pulled the leaver for the hot water, not worrying about pain as he had went into molten lava before and besides he was a dragon…so he was completely impervious to heat.

Stepping inside he grabbed a wash cloth and scrubbed hard to release his claw from his penis but even with the water on full, heated blast and with his fierce scrubbing it was not doing much and was only causing more pain to him.

"OH COME ON!" He screamed, quoting one of his best friend's and former Cutie Mark Crusader Sweetie Belle before throwing the blue wash cloth away and ran a claw, his left and only one through his spines.

Meanwhile, Peewee was rushing towards Fluttershy's cottage, he had just came from Rainbow Dash's cloud house, Applejack's farm and Pinkie Pie's bakery, telling the other pets and their owners of the 'accident' Spike had gotten himself into.

Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves were laughing so hard they spilled the alcohol, hard bottle cidar they were drinking onto their feathers as Tank only chuckle slowly making the phoenix shake his head before moving on.

Winora laughed so hard she peed herself as Apple Bloom's face was near the point herself, laughing to the point where she was having trouble breathing, Big Macintosh only chuckled making Peewee sigh not knowing why some creatures found something so hilarious only amusing .

With a roll of his eyes and leaving just before Granny Smith was crying from laughter almost having a heart attack Peewee moved towards Pinkie's house.

Gummy only opened his fang less mouth and gave a silent chuckle causing Peewee to narrow his eyes before looking to Pinkie Pie who was laughing so hard she almost caught her tail on fire as it was near an open oven, ready to receive a raspberry cake.

The Earth Pony had to tell the former baby Cakes that she would tell them the joke when they were older making the two now four year old foals look at their babysitter in confusion.

Peewee only chuckled before flapping his wings flying past all the customers who were laughing so hard many started choking on their sweets including Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Dinky Doo, Rumble, Twist, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Snips, Snails and Pipsqueak.

As he landed on the grassy land of Fluttershy's home, wondering if he should inform the Princesses themselves of the joke but knowing the flight would take too long and that Spike would be to furious at him to send a letter he dismissed the idea and walked to where Angel and the other of Fluttershy's pets rested, wondering why the homeowner had not moved in with her wife by now but shrugged and knew it was none of his business.

He had avoided Rarity's shop for the fact that he wanted Twilight to find her dragonfriend herself and have a laugh making the phoenix chuckle and he had no doubt that Sweetie Belle would tell her older sister later and no doubt tell Opalescence who hated him for reasons he could not understand, he mentally took a note to tell Philomena tomorrow after telling the Princesses themselves of course.

Peewee flew through the open window of Fluttershy's home looking for his best pet friend but not finding him in his usual resting place as he flew back outside, finding the rabbit 'leader' of the house for the animals talking to a pair of otters while he held a lit Diseased Stallion cigarette in his left paw laughing as one of the otters said something no doubt funny to him.

"Yo, Angel." He called out making the white furred rabbit with his black eyes turn around and smile as he slapped the phoenix's left wing with his free paw.

"What up, Feathers. What you doing here?" he asked before taking a drag and blowing out the gray smoke out his nose.

Peewee repeated the story to the others who laughed, hard. Angel laughing so hard he almost dropped his cigarette as he held a paw to his stomach; the otters and animals that joined the four were on the ground, crying from laughter.

"Whew, you're…your serious? He really did that?" Angel asked as Peewee nodded, the rabbit took another drag before holding it out towards Peewee.

"Ah, now that's funny, we are going to remember this shit. Want a drag?" he asked catching his breath as the phoenix only shook his head.

"Nah, I'll steal one from Spike later, thanks though." Peewee replied making Angel chuckle.

"Whatever, told you that shit would be funny to do though, was expecting the librarian to get caught in our little joke though, but hey, the bastard reptile is so much better to tease."

"True that surprised you even remember it because of how drunk we were." Peewee sneered as the rabbit raised an eyebrow in confusion and a bit of annoyance.

"The hell you talking about, I remember that shit, I came up with the idea in the first place as Spike and Twilight went to the movies last week, boy. Then we stole a few bottles of hard cidar from the Main Mare's wife's stash, had a few hits of that Hay Weed and came up with the idea of switching that lube with the glue." Angel answered back, putting out his cigarette in the grass before flicking it away.

The other animals, once done for their amusement for the day went their own ways as Peewee chuckled and shook his head.

"You were high as hell though and almost locked yourself in the drawer." He laughed making Angel growl softly.

"Whatever bitch, I got out didn't I? Anyway, the Main Mare is still visiting her parents in Cloudsdale so I won't be able to tell her of this until she gets back tomorrow, look point is we got away with this, huh?" he snapped as Peewee only nodded.

"Think we should tell him?" he asked as the two thought for a second then shook their heads.

"Nah." They replied in unison before talking about other events such as the time they got high on Hay Weed with Lyra, Luna, Philomena and Vinyl Scratch somehow ending on top of Canterlot castle and mooned the Royal night guards below, laughing their asses of.

As the two pets told of recent events and crazy times Spike could not remove his right claw from his dick for the life of him.

He stepped outside the shower to dry off with one claw and slipped on the water that had come out with him, slamming his nose on the sink making him swear with rage before getting up from the floor, holding his head with a claw as he sighed in annoyance.

"How the buck do I get this off?!" he wondered to himself thinking that he may have had to ask Twilight for help but that would raise many questions from the mare, none of which the teenage dragon wanted to answer.

As if the Gods themselves were against him, Twilight's lovely, gentle voice called out for him, making Spike stood upright in fear and embarrassment.

"SPIKE! Where are you?" Twilight yelled out again as he face clawed himself and with a loud sigh shouted that he was in the bathroom.

Hearing Twilight's hoofsteps come up the stairs, he braced himself for his marefriend's questions and prayed to any God listening that they would strike him down now.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly causing him to smile knowing how much she cared about him

"Uh….sort of." He answered back in a whisper then repeated his answer once Twilight could not hear him.

"Well….are you on the toilet? Your bowels or bladder acting up, babe?" she questioned making him sigh loudly.

"Well…um….you see, I'm sort of having a bit of…trouble." He spoke through the door making Twilight tilt her head to the left in confusion.

"Trouble how? If you got a stomachache then there are some pills that could help you in the-"

"No, it's not my stomach Twi, it's…well, it's my…cock." He replied softly as the mare only blinked.

"Your what?" she asked not understanding the problem.

"My penis Twi, we went over all the names for genitals last week, remember?" he spoke as the mare shook her head then remembered he could not see it before she spoke.

"No…I was reading a book about farming to help Applejack at the time, remember?" she answered as Spike could only face claw himself and sigh loudly again.

"Of course, you were…look, um, shit how do I say this. I, well I sort of accidently super glued my claw to my…cock." He spoke calmly and blushes in embarrassment, awaiting her answer.

Five minutes of silence pass between the two before he called out to her again and once she did not answer he opened the door, worried for his marefriend.

Twilight took one look at where his claw was and blushed, not seeing that he had such an impressive length and width before she burst out laughing, hard. Twilight laughed so hard that she was crying, tears falling down her furred face as she had to hold her hooves to her stomach to try to catch her breath, laughing for a full ten minutes before she had finally caught her breath and stood on her four hooves, still chuckling.

"Oh Spike, how do you keep getting into these messes?" she questioned to which he only shook his head sadly and a bit of anger.

"Can you help me or not, Twi?" he growled making her chuckle again as she nodded then walking towards her mate, she looked at the somehow still harden organ and blush before gulping as her horn lit with a flash of purple and wrap around Spike's claw and member who moaned from the contact before his claw was released and he sighed flexing it with a smile then looked to see Twilight's magical aura still wrapped around his cock as it began to stoke it slowly making him moan with a roll of his head making Twilight gasp and cut off her flow of magic disappointing the dragon.

"So…would you care to tell me how this happened?" she asked with a smirk and wink, lighting her magic back to his scaled dick as he smirked.

After Spike had told his really embarrassing tale and the two shared a glass of red wine, ending in a very passionate but awkward night for the two, Spike had woken up, kissed his mate on the cheek and went to make breakfast finding Rainbow Dash at the kitchen table holding a cup of coffee in her hooves as Spike ignored her and made some daisy pancakes for him, Twilight and apparently Rainbow Dash seeing as she was not going to leave.

"So Spike….want to tell me how you managed to get your claw stuck to your cock?" she asked with a smirk making him roll his eyes as he handed Rainbow Dash her food along with syrup and sat down, lighting a cigarette as he merely growled.

"Shut up, Dash." Rainbow Dash's laugh being heard all through the house.

* * *

**Author's Note: This was real fun to write, I love Peewee he's my favortie pet even though he's only seen for three seconds, I'm hoping Hasbro will put him in more episodes. This is a little bit based on Amercian Pie two when Jim has the same problem, made me laugh, what about all of you fellow fans? You enjoy it? Be honest please and I keep thinking that Peewee's the type to have a smart ass attitude for some reason.**


End file.
